Fire Light

Hmm... wow. Is this really your life? If not, you put so much passion into this that one would think it was... i know they said to not just say ...

Well, everyone beat me to the technical stuff, but here goes. Hmm... very interesting. Your structure is good, although you might want to clean the format (paragraphs and such.) Also, ...

Hmm... very good. Jabber Hut just pointed out just about everything technical about this post, except " "Good afternoon, she started, " needs a " after "afternoon". Also, i'm not ...

Whew, back on at last. Anyway, good job. Although, in the sentence "my greatest dream-to be a writer.", you might want to put a space after the dream.;) Just technical ...

Hmm... very good. i can't say that i can find anything wrong with it. but that's probably because i've never had anything more than a best friend (eg. no gfs. ...

Hmm... umm... confusing? OK, to be frank, it needs some work. It was kinda confusing the was that Ubi is Japanese, the letter was written in kanji, wo was going ...

Hmm... it was pretty good. Aside from what Jabberhut and Azila said, when you said "The arrow pierced the bucks hide," you might want to make "buck's hide", and when ...

Hmm... an interesting piece of poetry, to say the very least. There isn't too much to say to fix this poem, except that, (as MyrddinDerwydd pointed out,) seamstresses probably be ...

Hmm... it was very Interesting. Like Ayra, you had some difficult word for 12 year olds, but most of the other members are 13 or older, so don't worry about ...

Hmm... very creative. Finally, a Metroid fanfic! XD It was confusing at times, but it was pretty good aside form that. Although when you said "It went into a berserk.", ...

hmm... it was alright. As everyone else who reviewed, it WAS kinda flat. As my reading/l.a. teacher would say, "Show, don't tell (it's boring), show, don't tell (it's boring.)" You ...

hmm, contrary to what you said, it was pretty decent. Like Buublwrapped said, the If only got kinda dull, but the fact that it started each stanza made it a ...

Hmm... interesting. Fisher just picked this post apart, so this should help a bit. ;] But like Blackstorm said, "Good enough for some face to face interaction" does need a ...

Hmm... not too graphic. i can't say it was the best, but i can't say it was the worst. That last part, "I could have made her fly again", was ...

Hmmm... pretty interesting. The last line, "...and sleep comes rushing down.", that was somewhat, off, shal we say. If you switch the second and third stanza around, it would make ...